much free time. infinite free time.

so I’ve been having a crazy week maybe I’m a crazy girl it’s a crazy life. I’ll start at the beginning. I work(ed!) as a manager at a restaurant. on Monday night we had a special bike event so we were busy and no dishwasher so we were extra busy. As the night progressed, I noticed one busser was getting bogged down and spending a lot of time in the dish pit. tho it was needed, it wasn’t the top priority, so I asked him, I swear with a smile on my face, if he could help out with bussing on the floor. cool so far, right?

well he gets in my face, starts screaming at me that he knows how to do his job, that he’s gonna get me fired, that I should just move back to NY and makes moves like he’s gonna hit me. naturally it freaked me out. once I got my wits about me I realized I had to ask him to leave because if that’s how he was gonna treat me, his supervisor, how the hell was he going to treat anyone else that got in his way? so I asked him to leave. he said no and I ended up having to call a manager to get him to leave the building.

it was a scary experience. I got an awful feeling in my stomach like I was going to be sick and once customers left I couldn’t stop crying. maybe this seems like a dramatic response but I have experienced violence in my life and was actually at the time working with an ex who had hit me so I view threats as real.

well it turns out they’re taking his side. I had a meeting with my managers this morning, they told me it was to talk about Monday night, but once I woke up at 6am, biked up to work at 7 and walked in the building I was “let go.” I was told it had nothing to do with Monday but I also wasn’t given any specific reason so it seems fishy to me.

yes back in January I was reprimanded for non-specific attitude problems that I have since tried to improve, a difficult task because no one could tell me what I was doing wrong, but in the past 6 months I have received a lot of positive feedback from many different people. and now I am fired, for the same non-specific attitude problems, because apparently there are complaints that everyone knows about but me, that I never heard about, and that my managers tried to “sweep under the rug” until they couldn’t anymore. I fully admit that I fucked up somewhere but I wish I had been told where (!) and given the opportunity and support to change. it is hard to change when you are told over and over that everything is great.

so now I am unemployed. now I am free to update my resume and read books and bike around and go to every cool Seattle event as long as it is free. I feel shocked, I feel hurt, I feel stabbed in the back but also grateful for the friends I made and for the fact that some people liked and trusted me for a little while.

and there’s another positive! on Monday night, when I was scared but not yet fired, I went to kings at like 1am and became friends with two dudes slash off-duty bartenders. I invited them back to my place after we closed down the bar and we stayed up till 5 drinking champagne and shooting the shit on my back patio. once I felt drunk and tired I told them so, they went home, and I went to bed.

if anything untoward had happened people probably would have said, ‘what did you expect?’ but lucky me this time I got what I expected. I got to be dumb and drunk and make new friends. it’s nice to be smart and it’s nice to play safe but it’s nice to not view every dude as a potential rapist. life is hard but when I can I try to trust.

so attention internet! you know my style. I can be a crazy girl but I am positive and well-intentioned and sometimes even have jokes. I can spell and punctuate upon demand. and I’m broke!! so if my dream job floats your way, holla at yer girl.

or just like keep reading. cos I suddenly have a lot of free time to write!

ps: the attached pic is my last pre-fired selfie. an age of innocence. end of an era. I knew not what I was biking into.