just dickin around: biking hard in Seattle

badass bike weekend for the win. yesterday I biked the furthest north ive ever been (in Seattle) and today the furthest south. and I’m still standing! actually right now I’m sitting in a Starbucks because I sold my morals slash Tukwila is chain restaurant hell. I needed to charge my phone and charge myself and they’re turning a blind eye to me eating my own cookies out of my own backpack and so far only one person has given me the finger so I’ll try to stop being a brat about being here.

but yea I dont want to complain. I don’t like complainers. I want to humblebrag slash not humble at all about biking! I am riding high I am riding low I am riding all over Seattle.
yesterday I went on a bike ride to all 6 dicks drive-ins in Seattle. on a route in the shape of a dick. it was pretty much the greatest experience of my life. I rode with a group of friends I met last year; I was just a few weeks into biking in the city when I accidentally crashed their party. I am pretty active and know about stuff going on around town because I facebook hard, but sometimes I show up at things I think are public that actually… aren’t.

so last year I crashed Bitches Bike & Brew: a ride to some cool bars in south Seattle with a group of very friendly women. one year later — still crashing, still riding — I joined some of the same ladies and some dudes too on a dick tour! tour du dick. just dickin around.

(photo by Robert)

we started at the Wallingford dicks and then proceeded to hit Capitol Hill, lake city, Edmonds, Ballard and Queen Anne. In all I ate 2 burgers, 1 fry, 1 coke and 1 maple nut ice cream cone. it was hard to pack it all in! at two dicks I just had ice water! one girl seemed to get a cheeseburger and a hot fudge sundae at every stop but I can’t party that hard. she also had a boom box strapped to the back of her bike and a pug mask in her front basket and was a general badass.

(photo by Bekky)

it was a nice group – 5 women (including me) and 3 men. unlike last year, there were times I was at the front of the pack! I rocked those hill climbs! my chain fell off 2 times and I put my chain back on 2 times. never better.

it was a fun leisurely day; beyond the dick stops we stopped to snack on blackberries growing along the trails. we rode the Burke and the interurban and i even learned some shortcuts close to home I didn’t know about.

our route was 45 miles, but with my commute from and to home I’m calling it a 50 mile day. starting in Ballard I was pretty fried, and by Queen Anne I could barely speak. I’d try to say a sentence but say the words out of order. or I’d forget some words but I couldn’t tell which. totally brain dead.

needless to say when I left the group and tried to bike to volunteer park I was a mess. I was able to bike from Queen Anne to south lake union but had to walk the rest of the way to the hill. at the park I laid in the grass like a confused blob for a while till I biked home with my roommate (downhill!) and went to bed at 8:30.

and up at 6 for another ride!

this morning I had a job interview in Tukwila: 20 miles & 2 bike hours south of me. I took the Elliot bay trail to Alki, over the west Seattle bridge to Duwamish, to the green river trail, to the interurban. but it wasn’t so easy as that.

maybe it’s my fault or maybe blame google, I don’t know, but I have a really tough time reading maps and following google map directions. they always seem to change! at some junctures I had to flag down bikers to help point me in the right direction.

I made it to the green river trail feeling good & hungry & with time to spare, so I took a break on a bench with a backpack salad. fresh picked blackberries for dessert! it was glorious but after eating I couldn’t find my way. maybe all my blood was in my stomach and not my brain.

I seriously biked around the same block for 30 minute crying because I had no idea what to do. picture me standing on the side of a busy street, squinting at my phone screen in the sun, covered in mud and blood.

ok my legs always get pretty scratched and muddy when I’m riding and it’s not a big deal but I’m trying to be dramatic here.

Google kept directing me to streets that didn’t exist and I kept looking for street signs that didn’t exist and I wanted to lay in the shade of a tree and cry forever. instead I kept crying and kept swearing and eventually made it to my job interview, one hour late, literally covered in blood sweat & tears.

and I got the job!

doesn’t hurt that my new boss is a biker too 🙂

now I’m still at Starbucks and still in Tukwila. starting to feel caffeinated enough to head on home. and you can eat my dust!! or, like, join me. I’m always happy to make new bike friends 🙂


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About Emily Suggests

Pineapple rock, lemon platt, butter scotch. A sugarsticky girl shovelling scoopfuls of creams for a christian brother.

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