Happy Birthday To Me!
I rung in my birth last night at a going away party for my beloved friend, roommate, coworker, life partner, bed partner… Shall I go on? This is the second girlfriend I’ve loved and lost in Seattle. As heartbreaking as their departures are (I’m sure the coming weeks will feature many tears, overwhelming feelings of emptiness, and bottles once full of red wine), it’s also encouraging to see my ability to make girlfriends in action. Keep da ladiez comin!
During the past year of my life, I LEARNED A LOT OF SHIT. I dove deeply into love, moved across the country with him, and broke up six months later in a horrible and sad way. Luckily I already had experience never talking to someone again!
I had three unpaid internships when I was 23, and two paying jobs. I traveled to Budapest, Vienna and Prague. I drove across the country, camping and Couchsurfing along the way. I learned that I like being quiet and paying attention. I learned that I can chat, flirt, engage and verbally joust, but it gets tiring. For whatever reason, I’m a weird version of an extrovert that derives her energy from sitting just behind a group of friends, never forgotten but never asked to perform.
I made a lot of friends when I was 23, and I think I lost a few. I kissed some cute boys. I went on an OKCupid date with a girl. I discovered that I love walking and I hate cars; that I CAN carry a gallon of milk and two bags full of cans and produce home from the grocery store, I CAN run after a bus with my laptop and heels and catch it. I still love to party but I’m pretty good about alternating my whiskey with water. I still get sad but I’m better about bouncing back.
My goals for 24 are as follows: I want to dedicate a good chunk of my time and focus to the CREATION OF ART. I want to write and bake and read feminist theory. I want to get a paying job in media. I want to stop wearing pants (the practical and the divine). I want to maybe say no to a party for once (but would I then be denying an essential essence of me?). I want to keep walking, keep laughing, keep dancing. Much more dancing.
Already for my birthday I’ve received wonderful flower-scented treats. Last night I hung out with some smart and beautiful ladies on my front lawn, smoking and talking about menstruation. Tonight I’m planning to finally experience live music in Seattle and dance my little booty off. Maybe eat a burger. Keep lovin life.
24 more years!!