What will I be when I grow up?

Applying for jobs is throwing my world for a loop. I recently went from being the eldest of the children to the youngest of the adults. I felt so much more self-assured at 19 than I do at 23. It was so safe to be in college! Everything was an experiment, complete with security blanket and back-up plan. Now I’m still experimenting and sometimes trying, but no one is watching. No one is grading me on my progress.

Sometimes when I go to Meetups, I feel like a dirty child that snuck in with a fake ID. Like I’m wearing braces and my mother’s heels. And why shouldn’t I? I don’t have a job to boast of.

Who will I be next month? Next year? I have a varied skill set, a diverse employment history, and innumerable interests. I spend my days scrolling through Craigslist with the starry eyes of innocence and naivete, a belly of courage and fire. Oh yes I do meet your job requirements! I do want to be a pastry chef! Read my blog; I write about baking cookies! But wait, I also want to be a teacher’s assistant. I know how to write lesson plans. I know how to copy-edit. I have great customer service skiiiiiiiiiiills!!!!!!!

(That was me falling off the deep end of the job hunt.)

Here is a bar graph I made of all the jobs I’ve applied for in the past three weeks. Two applications a day ain’t bad.

Isn’t that interesting and informative? Looks like I put my “working knowledge of Microsoft Office” to good use.

I am waiting for Seattle to decide my fate like the sorting hat. Will I be a Slytherin in marketing? A Ravenclaw reporter? A Hufflepuff waitress? An activist Gryffindor?

You may say I am being lazy or frivolous with my fate, but I’ll counter that I’m merely accepting reality. We don’t control all the strings of our lives. Sorting hat, sort me out.

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